A life in Short
by Fangy
Summary: A short fic based on This Fire. Netzachs' views on Rufus ShinRa and her father as an adult. Just completely random, really has nothing to do with the actual fic, although there is references.


Disclaimer: I do not own Rufus ShinRa or Sephiroth or Hojo or anything else that is (c) to Square Enix.

Anywho this is more or less a random spin off, but it gives ya a somewhat idea as to how Netzach thinks and reacts to things. Enjoy anywho. Hehehehe. Oh yes there is SOME minor spoilers. Some which are going to be very apparent, some which are obvious to hopefully some people now, but yea anywho. read on if ya like.

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People always have something to argue about. Whether it be the fact that they have had too much rain in a month, or they just didn't seem to get the service they thought they deserved at your local market. Something always bothers people. And then they mumble on about how tragic it is to live in such hard days. I can understand them. Life is hard. But hardly tragic. I guess you can go by the old saying, "You make what you can of life." But at least they have others around them to understand their pain. I will never have that. The secrets I keep to myself. Sometimes I wonder if there will ever be a single person that will be able to "crack me." So I wander this world alone. And everywhere I go I feel the burden. But do I argue? Nah.

I don't argue because I know it's a waste of time. Why get into some bitter debate over something so useless? Most things people see as important in life are usually something that they could probably live without. Or probably even be better off without it.

Hrmmm… Ya know though. Sometimes, I really wish I had the things people cling onto so dearly, pointless things. At least it momentarily makes them happy. Nowadays I don't have time for all that. But I wish I could get it back, somehow. HA! Listen to me. Wishing? I should really know better.

Yet, now that I think of it Rufus used to buy me a lot of stuff. Expensive stuff. Heh yea. I remember one time, a few years before he became president he had a business trip to Midgar. What his father wanted with him I had no idea, but I doubt it was anything that was dealt with in a friendly manner. I felt bad the entire time he was gone thinking he was going to get some sort of punishment for his releasing me against his fathers wishes, and of course Hojos. Not that I was complaining mind you, I was out of the labs. But anyways he came back a couple nights later and walked in with a white box, completed with it being tied with red ribbon and of course to top it off a big red bow. He had sincere and very warm look, rather then the piercing cold glare that just seemed so natural to him. Within time it seemed only I was the one that ever get the "warm look." It was as if whatever happened in the past didn't really matter. And what was important was the here and now. The way he always looked at me, in his eyes, it was like an assurance. Funny how he would turn away from me and immediately change back into the cold and heartless Rufus ShinRa everyone used to fear.

In retrospect I was just sitting there that night, looking out the window unto the Junon harbour as he gave me the package. I told him I didn't deserve it. And that I was sorry. I recall wanting to cry, but also remembering that if anything I had to be strong. Not for him, but at the moment in time for myself. He spoke softly in my ear and encouraged me to at least undo the bow. So I did. Heh I put it in my hair, it stuck there, and if my memory serves me correctly I think he chuckled at the sight of that. When I opened the box there was the beautiful dark blue dress. Sparkly. It was an evening gown. Complete with long white gloves. I was stunned to say the least. It was gorgeous. I asked why for the gown. Rufus just smiled at me, and true smile, nothing remotely close to those smirks he gave to everyone else to keep up his act, and simply stated that if there was going to be a ShinRa ball, in which he always had to unfortunately attend, that he wanted me by his side.

I remember the night of the ball I received even more gifts from the Vice President to go with the gown. It most certainly was a party to remember. Rufus just revelled in the fact that I was there with him and that there was nothing anyone could do about it. Hojo must have been furious. Couldn't really tell, the man was always good at keeping his anger in check. Heh yea those were good years. I miss him. It's only been eight months since meteor has past and since his death. When I learnt of the news I… I really didn't know how to contain myself. I just stood there looking out of the window for hours. Crying, wiping away tears and looking out onto the ShinRa building looking for any chance, any hope….

Let's talk about something else shall we? You remember the rag tag group pf rebels AVALANCHE right? The group isn't what it used to be. Back in the day when Elfe and Shears were around it was pretty damn interesting to say the least. Reno and Rude where younger back then obviously and so was I. Twelve years old and there I was chasing down a rebel member and trying to protect the CEO inside his own bloody house, or mansion should I say?

Anyways when Cloud and the gang finally got on the scene things changed. The cogs finally started to turn. Well actually the cogs started to turn a long time ago it's just that nobody paid any attention to them. Really if people where a bit more intelligent a few decades back my dear old dad wouldn't of had the power he had, wouldn't burn down a entire town for the hell of it and then proclaim some sort of alien creature to be his mother, and him to be a god. And the world, well it would be safe. People wouldn't be dieing of geostigma and everyone… everyone would just be better off. And maybe, some people that died all those months ago would still be alive. Like they should be. Not dead and buried under a pile of rubble that once was your own office, or placed in a lake for a sandy bottom and a liquid roof to become your tomb. For what purpose? Why? I'd like to ask.

So much pain and suffering was caused by the same blood that flows through my veins. Damn him! You see this is my "tragedy" if you want to call it, many would. I carry a part of him inside of me. And the most horrible thing of all, it's not the fact that Jenova is in my blood cells as well, but it's because even if given the choice. Do you really think I would get rid of this power? The same kind of power that killed all those people? No. I wouldn't. Sad isn't it? I have the power to kill. Really all that time in the labs, it was given to Hojo to make me a cold blooded killer just like my father before me. And at times I am dreadfully so. Tragic wouldn't you say? I have a choice, Or at least I try to have a choice. Don't understand? Well don't aim to. Because you just wouldn't. Sometimes I think that even if one is "designed" to kill they are still given a choice, but since something else was so eloquently planned out for them that there is no way to fully escape that natural plan. I have killed before, and if need be I would do it again. No everyone is so innocent. Not even Cloud. The reluctant hero. I feel sorry for him, what Sephiroth did to him… just cannot be forgiven.

Matter of factly I really hate him, and yet I remember a childhood with a caring father. A man that was kind, and one that had the ability to love. He was incredibly strong and I do believe he was feared on the battlefield, no question about that. He was cold. But mom warmed it up it seemed. They met during the war in Watui. They got married, and had lil' ol' me. He used to take me out, spend time with me whenever he could. Really, he was a great father. Although at times I don't think he knew exactly what he was doing, but then again what parent does? But he did the not knowing part with style.

Like I said I hate him but… I still love him. Well the old Sephiroth I used to know and love as "Dad." The one that came back from the dead and tried to wipe everything out from existence. That version we could all do without. I wish however, that even with him loosing his sanity, that I just had one chance to see him again. As strange as that sounds. Even just at a glance. Maybe…. Maybe if he saw me, knowing that his family, well part of his family, was still alive, perhaps he would of calmed down. But I wonder what would he do if he found out about mom?

He'd… probably do the same thing I tried to do, but succeed. I was so young. I couldn't do a damn thing back then. I don't know. Right now I guess I don't care. Heh I could say that. Really I'm so confused. So lost, although I'll never admit to it. God I'm a stubborn person. I've realized that about myself. I guess Rufus was right after all. He'd always smirk when he'd say it. "What a stubborn little thing you are."

You know for one that doesn't dwell to much on her past I sure have been thinking of it a lot lately. Thing is I've had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. I should really get me a job or something. HA I could go apply at Strife delivery services. Blow poor Clouds mind away with me showing up at the door. "Hi, I'm the daughter of your worst enemy and I've come to apply for a position in your fine establishment." That would be rather funny. But I think I'll pass. Perhaps apply for a position at the W.R.O.? World Reconstruction Organization, supposedly headed by Reeve. Apparently they are just starting up. Need all the help they could get. But I fear the last thing they need is me around.

Well I guess whatever I end up doing is going to be something orientated around the idea of fighting. It's what I do best apparently. Could take up the idea of being a mercenary. Make some good money while doing it. Dirty jobs, doing things very few people could. Possible. Sounds to easy, kind of reminds me of a idea Zack would have.

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No I won't be updateing this. It's completely random! XD Lates.

-Fangy


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